How I'm coping currently - moving out, relationship, COVID

This is such a weird post for me to be writing. If you told me this time last year that I'd be in a new 

relationship, have moved out and we're in our third lockdown, I wouldn't have believed you. So much 

has changed for everyone in the last year, but I couldn't have guessed my life would be like it is now.

January 21st last year, I found myself single. After being in a relationship for 3 1/2 yeas I needed to find 

myself again and start to be more independent rather than rely on another person. I loved being single. I 

enjoyed having time for myself and I gained so much confidence. It was hard to be adjust to being single 

in a pandemic. I couldn't see friends or go out drinking, so I spent a lot of time at home. When the time 

came I knew I was ready for a new relationship but it wasn't something I was going to force for the sake of 

it. 9 months later, I met Kacper and we've been inseparable ever since. 

I'm not sure whether it was the pandemic and lockdown or our relationship in general but we moved out 

and in with each other, after being together just over 2 months. Looking at this, it seems soon and I guess 

it was. But I'm a big believer in you know when it's right and with everything that's happened this last 

year, life really is too short. We've both spoke about it since and don't regret moving in together and don't 

think it was rushed, however we have said the actual moving in process was very fast, which didn't help. 

Time is both your best friend and worst enemy, in this case it was both. 

The first month or so of living together wasn't easy. We were both learning to live with one another and 

with different upbringings we had different views on how things should be. The majority of the time we 

compromised or at least tried too! During our first month of living together I stopped taking my 

medication and started slipping into old habits again. I started arguing over little things and doing things 

that, looking back, we very toxic. I didn't really notice at first and thought it was the stress of moving out. 

But once my mom realised how I was acting, I knew I had to start getting back into a routine. I'm not 

going to lie, this was extremely hard; and still is. I feel like I'm fighting a loosing battle most days but I 

know being on and taking my medication correctly is the best thing for me.

When we had the first and second lockdown, I didn't really feel like I was affected by it. My life was the 

same, still working and I only ever went out for food shopping anyway. However this time I've found 

myself struggling, like a lot of others. I didn't notice it before, because like I said my life hadn't changed, 

but with the combination of a new relationship and moving out, it's definitely had a toll on me. I talked a 

little about it in my moving out during a pandemic post, but I feel like I've missed out. We can't have 

people round to celebrate and enjoy having our own place, and we can't do simple things such as going 

shopping for house bits. We currently can't see family and do everyday things that we did before. 

I've also never been one with a huge friend group. I have a couple of friends, and that works for me. 

Unfortunately a few months ago, I fell out with my best friend of 5 years. I can't tell you what it's over, 

because I don't really know myself. But with all the changes that have happened recently, I never imagined 

going through it without her. I never realised how much this affected me until the last month, but a break 

up with a friend is just as or even more painful than a breakup with a partner. 

I understand that everyone is in the same boat and position. We are all struggling to a certain extent and 

with different things, however that doesn't make it any easier. Mental health has taken a huge toll on 

people since the start of the first lockdown, and there isn't enough support or resources out there to help 

everyone. Even though I'm not in the best position myself (mental health wise), I am very fortunate to be 

in a position where I am still working, have food on the table, a roof over my head and my family are all 

healthy. Pease make sure that you talk to someone. If you don't think you can talk to your family or friends 

then you can always call or text a helpline for support. I text them last year and they really do help. It's the 

small things in life that matter the most right now. 

Text 'shout' to 85258

xoxo

Lea-Mai