How I'm coping currently - moving out, relationship, COVID


This is such a weird post for me to be writing. If you told me this time last year that I'd be in a new 
relationship, have moved out and we're in our third lockdown, I wouldn't have believed you. So much 
has changed for everyone in the last year, but I couldn't have guessed my life would be like it is now.

January 21st last year, I found myself single. After being in a relationship for 3 1/2 yeas I needed to find 
myself again and start to be more independent rather than rely on another person. I loved being single. I 
enjoyed having time for myself and I gained so much confidence. It was hard to be adjust to being single 
in a pandemic. I couldn't see friends or go out drinking, so I spent a lot of time at home. When the time 
came I knew I was ready for a new relationship but it wasn't something I was going to force for the sake of 
it. 9 months later, I met Kacper and we've been inseparable ever since. 

I'm not sure whether it was the pandemic and lockdown or our relationship in general but we moved out 
and in with each other, after being together just over 2 months. Looking at this, it seems soon and I guess 
it was. But I'm a big believer in you know when it's right and with everything that's happened this last 
year, life really is too short. We've both spoke about it since and don't regret moving in together and don't 
think it was rushed, however we have said the actual moving in process was very fast, which didn't help. 
Time is both your best friend and worst enemy, in this case it was both. 

The first month or so of living together wasn't easy. We were both learning to live with one another and 
with different upbringings we had different views on how things should be. The majority of the time we 
compromised or at least tried too! During our first month of living together I stopped taking my 
medication and started slipping into old habits again. I started arguing over little things and doing things 
that, looking back, we very toxic. I didn't really notice at first and thought it was the stress of moving out. 
But once my mom realised how I was acting, I knew I had to start getting back into a routine. I'm not 
going to lie, this was extremely hard; and still is. I feel like I'm fighting a loosing battle most days but I 
know being on and taking my medication correctly is the best thing for me.

When we had the first and second lockdown, I didn't really feel like I was affected by it. My life was the 
same, still working and I only ever went out for food shopping anyway. However this time I've found 
myself struggling, like a lot of others. I didn't notice it before, because like I said my life hadn't changed, 
but with the combination of a new relationship and moving out, it's definitely had a toll on me. I talked a 
little about it in my moving out during a pandemic post, but I feel like I've missed out. We can't have 
people round to celebrate and enjoy having our own place, and we can't do simple things such as going 
shopping for house bits. We currently can't see family and do everyday things that we did before. 

I've also never been one with a huge friend group. I have a couple of friends, and that works for me. 
Unfortunately a few months ago, I fell out with my best friend of 5 years. I can't tell you what it's over, 
because I don't really know myself. But with all the changes that have happened recently, I never imagined 
going through it without her. I never realised how much this affected me until the last month, but a break 
up with a friend is just as or even more painful than a breakup with a partner. 

I understand that everyone is in the same boat and position. We are all struggling to a certain extent and 
with different things, however that doesn't make it any easier. Mental health has taken a huge toll on 
people since the start of the first lockdown, and there isn't enough support or resources out there to help 
everyone. Even though I'm not in the best position myself (mental health wise), I am very fortunate to be 
in a position where I am still working, have food on the table, a roof over my head and my family are all 
healthy. Pease make sure that you talk to someone. If you don't think you can talk to your family or friends 
then you can always call or text a helpline for support. I text them last year and they really do help. It's the 
small things in life that matter the most right now. 


xoxo
Lea-Mai

20 comments

  1. So sorry to hear about your friend Lea and that you're struggling. Take one day at a time!
    Have you spoke to your friend? Maybe reach out and say I'm not even sure why we've parted
    but I miss you. You might regret it later if it continues the silence I mean, but sometimes friends
    do part and I believe everything happens for a reason. We grow apart, we make new ones at different
    parts of our life sometimes.
    CONGRATULATIONS on your new home, just online shop that's what were doing atm whilst we're doing
    up our house, its not the same but the safest things we can do atm and soon hopefully you can have
    a moving in party! I'm always a DM away if you want to chat lovely xxx

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    1. Thanks lovely. I did actually reach out, but unfortunately got nothing pack. Online shopping has definitely become my new best friend, even more than before. Thank you, means a lot x

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  2. Such a crazy year isn't it. 2 months is a long time if you have a connection and you're with them alot. I moved in with my now husband after a month 10 years ago! Now we have 3 kids together and we've been married for 4 years. Go with your gut xx

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  3. This is a gorgeous photo of you! I also believe that once you know you know! Me and Mike had only been together for 6 months when we decided we wanted to start a family. 4 years later and here we are with Elara and another baby girl on the way! Xx

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    1. Thanks lovely! That's so true, so excited for you to add another member to your family x

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  4. I'm so sorry to hear about your friend, but congratulations on the new house. Living together does take some time to adjust so try not to worry about it.

    Kayleigh x
    https://hazelnutmusings.co.uk/

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    1. Thanks lovely! Hoping things get better as the year goes on x

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  5. I'm sorry to hear you have had such a tough time. I know we all have in our own ways over the last year. Hopefully you can rekindle your friendship with your friend, if not, well sometimes somethings are just not meant to be. Either way, I am sure you will work it out.

    Amy x
    The July Rose

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    1. Keeping my fingers crossed, if not everything happens for a reason x

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  6. I'm sorry to hear that you've been having a difficult time of it. Loosing a best friend can be so hard and I agree it can feel so much worse than a break up.

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    1. Thanks lovely, it can be hard but I definitely believe everything happens for a reason even if you don't realise it at the time x

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  7. You are doing so well - there is so much up in the air but you will get there, we all will! I'm so sorry to hear you lost your friend, my heart breaks for you!

    Rosie

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    1. Thank you lovely! There's a reason for everything, even if it's hard to realise at the time x

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  8. When you know, you know! I hope you all of the best!

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  9. I'm so sorry you've been going through a hard time, you have been through a lot, and the world is a crazy place right now too, it's a lot, be kind to yourself, and I'm always here if you need someone to talk to ❤️ I don't think time means anything, if you know, you know, my auntie and uncle met aged 15, they ran away to marry once they both turned 16 and their parents went mad and everyone said it wouldn't work, sadly my auntie died last year but they were still together and they were both 82, so I'd say it did work ha ha, you do you, life is far too short xxx

      Zoë - MammafulZo 💕 

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    1. It really is. Thank you lovely, means a lot. What a beautiful story x

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  10. It's lovely you've found someone new and are happy x

    Gemma Louise

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