Identifying toxic relationships

Relationships are never easy. Whether that be; romantic, sexual, friendships or family. They all require 

compromise and sacrifice on both sides even if you don't realise it, and in all relationships there will be 

some levels of toxicity, which is normal. However when the toxic traits start to overall and become the 

main part of the relationship, you need to leave and cut it off, no matter what type of relationship it is. 

When it comes to family it can be really difficult to identify whether the relationship is toxic. I have cut 

so many ties with family members due to negative and toxic energy, that made me feel bad about myself 

constantly. Cutting off family is never easy however, its sometimes necessary. I have lost count of the 

amount of family members that I have cut off (not all through my own choice), and at times it's really 

difficult to process however, the family that I do see and have contact with mean the absolute world to 

me and are the ones who are actually there for me.

Friendships are constantly coming and going. You are never going to get along with everyone and that's 

fine. It took me a really long time to realise that not everyone will like me, just the same as I won't like 

everyone I meet. This is something that needs to be normalised more. Despite the fact that you're never 

going to get along with everyone you meet and vice versa, it's still important to be polite and respectful. 

There are so many people who think that because you don't like one another and aren't going to be friends, 

that it's ok to be rude and disrespectful when it isn't. 

When you do make friends, they're not always meant to last. The majority of the time you will naturally 

grow apart and that's it however, there are times when you become toxic to one another and the friendship 

is no longer working. If you can identify more negatives than positivities in a friendship then something 

needs to change. Toxicity in friendships can include; regular teasing, selfishness, peer pressure, demanding  

and more which leave you feeling drained and exhausted after. Whether you sit down and communicate 

about the issues or leave the friendship entirely, it's something that needs to be done to better both you and 

the other parties included. 

Toxicity in relationships is something I know too well, unfortunately. Just like family and friends, it needs 

to be identified. I spent so long ignoring the fact, as the person I was with was supposed to love me and 

there was no way this was actually happening. But it was. The longer I left it the worse it got, eventually 

turning into domestic/mental abuse and gas-lighting. I couldn't communicate due to fear and eventually 

found help elsewhere through a professional. If I had spoke out and communicated about the toxicity in 

the relationship when it first started I would have saved myself months of pain. 

It's never easy to walk away from a loved one, especially in a relationship, but it is crucial for your 

mental health and wellbeing. That relationship for me was a huge learning experience. I now know 

what is acceptable and what isn't, along with how I should be treated without tolerating less than that. 

Beautiful things will happen when you walk away from the negativity in your life.

xoxo

Lea-Mai