Identifying toxic relationships


Relationships are never easy. Whether that be; romantic, sexual, friendships or family. They all require 
compromise and sacrifice on both sides even if you don't realise it, and in all relationships there will be 
some levels of toxicity, which is normal. However when the toxic traits start to overall and become the 
main part of the relationship, you need to leave and cut it off, no matter what type of relationship it is. 

When it comes to family it can be really difficult to identify whether the relationship is toxic. I have cut 
so many ties with family members due to negative and toxic energy, that made me feel bad about myself 
constantly. Cutting off family is never easy however, its sometimes necessary. I have lost count of the 
amount of family members that I have cut off (not all through my own choice), and at times it's really 
difficult to process however, the family that I do see and have contact with mean the absolute world to 
me and are the ones who are actually there for me.

Friendships are constantly coming and going. You are never going to get along with everyone and that's 
fine. It took me a really long time to realise that not everyone will like me, just the same as I won't like 
everyone I meet. This is something that needs to be normalised more. Despite the fact that you're never 
going to get along with everyone you meet and vice versa, it's still important to be polite and respectful. 
There are so many people who think that because you don't like one another and aren't going to be friends, 
that it's ok to be rude and disrespectful when it isn't. 

When you do make friends, they're not always meant to last. The majority of the time you will naturally 
grow apart and that's it however, there are times when you become toxic to one another and the friendship 
is no longer working. If you can identify more negatives than positivities in a friendship then something 
needs to change. Toxicity in friendships can include; regular teasing, selfishness, peer pressure, demanding  
and more which leave you feeling drained and exhausted after. Whether you sit down and communicate 
about the issues or leave the friendship entirely, it's something that needs to be done to better both you and 
the other parties included. 

Toxicity in relationships is something I know too well, unfortunately. Just like family and friends, it needs 
to be identified. I spent so long ignoring the fact, as the person I was with was supposed to love me and 
there was no way this was actually happening. But it was. The longer I left it the worse it got, eventually 
turning into domestic/mental abuse and gas-lighting. I couldn't communicate due to fear and eventually 
found help elsewhere through a professional. If I had spoke out and communicated about the toxicity in 
the relationship when it first started I would have saved myself months of pain. 

It's never easy to walk away from a loved one, especially in a relationship, but it is crucial for your 
mental health and wellbeing. That relationship for me was a huge learning experience. I now know 
what is acceptable and what isn't, along with how I should be treated without tolerating less than that. 
Beautiful things will happen when you walk away from the negativity in your life.


xoxo
Lea-Mai

16 comments

  1. Its hard but so important, I have cut family ties and it's never easy but it's your life and no one should make you feel bad or small, especially family xx

    Violethollow.com

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    1. The family you surround yourself with can make a huge difference x

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  2. It's incredibly hard to break up a relationship, whether that be a romantic one or a friendship one. However, if it has become toxic, then it is a must. No one should make you feel worthless or small x

    Lucy Mary

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    Replies
    1. Takes time to realise that you and your mental health is more important x

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  3. I've gotten so good at knowing when a relationship is toxic now I'm older, I usually just shut it down right away.

    Corinne x
    https://skinnedcartree.com

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    1. I think that's part of getting older, you learn to look out for yourself and notice the signs more x

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  4. That's right! While the thought of removing a relationship from your life can feel overwhelming, it is important to recognize that your mental well-being comes first. Great post!
    xoxo
    Lovely
    www.mynameislovely.com

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    1. Thank you, glad you liked it. That relationship was so draining (to say to the least), and I'm slowly getting back to my old self x

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  5. It's definitely hard to cut off any relationship, but makes you feel so much better in the long run if you do cut off a toxic one!
    Amy x
    callmeamy.co.uk

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    1. You can feel the weight being lifted off your shoulders x

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  6. What a great post. I am sorry to hear you went through a toxic relationship, but I'm glad to hear you got help. Totally agree that leaving negativity will benefit you in the long run, no matter how hard it is in the short term xx

    Hannah | https://luxuryblush.co.uk/

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  7. I think family relationships can be some of the most difficult. Especially when it comes to feeling guilty about toxicity. I'm sorry you've gone through what you have. But I agree with you that it's all a big learning curve. As shitty as it is, it only makes us stronger. X

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    1. Family is so difficult, but it should be normalised to remove them from your life despite of that x

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  8. I've learned this a lot over the last 10 years, I've cut so many of my family members out of my life and it is so hard, but it is amazing!

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