1 year on antidepressants ... again?

Whether this is your first post of mine that you're reading or you've read every single one I've
uploaded (in that case, I apologise), then it's important to know that I am a very open person. If you
ask me any question you will most likely get an honest straight forward answer. Although I am a very
open person, I do have a limit on what I'm willing to share online, for many reasons. However I love
talking about mental health on my blog, as it opens up a new conversation and lets others know that
they are not alone. Something I've spoke about, but only briefly, is medication and antidepressants.

There isn't a particular reason as to why I haven't spoke about being on antidepressants much, other
than it is such a normal thing in my life that I never thought to mention it. Over the last few months
I've done a lot of growing and come to realise a lot about myself, especially in regards to my mental
health. The reason I'm talking about this now is in the hopes that is helps someone reading this.

I first got put on antidepressants in 2015 and started on sertraline. I went up in dosage until I reach
250mg. I stayed on them until summer 2018. I ended up switching doctors and repeat medication got
lost and misunderstood so I was unable to get my tablets, meaning that I went through an intense
withdrawal period and was incredibly ill. In a way I'm glad that it happened, otherwise I wouldn't
have come off them, I just wish I didn't have to go through such an intense withdrawal period. After 9
months of not being on any form of medication, my mental health started declining (rapidly and
intensely). My doctor made the decision to put me back on antidepressants but this time I was put on
fluoxetine, which is a more intense medication, which maximums dosage is only 60mg. I started on
20mg, then 40mg and eventually got 60mg. Each time I noticed different symptoms and side affects
but eventually it started to level out my hormones.

Back in January, after being on antidepressants for 9 months, I went to my doctors with the mindset
of asking to be taken of them immediately as I didn't like the idea of having to rely on a synthetic
item for the rest of my life. Instead we came to the decision to just reduce my dose and keep my on
40mg until further notice. An awful lot has happened since January, both good and bad but in regards
to my medication I'm happy with where I am. I have days where I don't take it because I think I'm
doing good (please do not do that) and days where it's the first thing I do because I know it's not
going to be a good day. For so long I battled with the thought that I was my medication and that's the
only reason I acted the way I did. I've realised that I am not my medication. My medication is not me.
Yes I need some help from anti-depressants to help with my hormones and make sure I don't do
something stupid. My medication is a part of me, but it is not all of me.



  1. Think it’s so important to talk about this stuff and know that it’s a part of you but it doesn’t control you. You’re a wonderful lady x

    1. Thank you! My goal is to lower the stigma around these topics x

  2. you write so well about stuff like this, you should be so proud of yourself Lea! x

  3. Thank you for your sharing this lovely girl! You are so incredibly candid and a natural writer and story teller. I feel like we've just sat on the sofa with a cuppa and you've told me this!

    1. Thank you! I do my best to keep it as real and honest as I can x

  4. Love that you're so open and honest, I was also on sertraline for a while and have switched medications now, sometimes it takes trial and error to find the right one for you, hope you're doing okay x

    1. Thank you! Definitely. Every person is different x

  5. Well done for sharing this! I wish people knew that taking antidepressants is never something to be ashamed about and it really doesn’t define you! I found Fluoxetine works the best for me, I hope they’re helping x

    1. Thank you! It's such a normal thing, which is why I never spoke about it but there's still a stigma around it x

  6. Love this post Lea. It’s so important to talk about our mental health!

    Katie x

  7. Mental health is so important, I am glad you and others are able to talk about it with more ease.
    Amy x
    The July Rose

    1. Something that can never be talked about enough x

  8. I love how open you are, especially when it comes to mental health! I've never been on anything else but Citalopram for years and it works for me. I have also had on and off days so completely can relate to that xx

    Megan Elizabeth

    1. Thank you! It's such a huge passion for me. I haven't heard of that one before, but I'm so glad it works for you x

  9. Well done for breaking the taboo and writing about this stuff 🙌🏻

    1. Still such a tough subject for so many people, I'm glad I can be an outlet for people, even if it's just a little x