Part of My Story

I have been debating whether or not to write this post for a few months now but I decided that it

 was finally time to do so. I wanted to share some of my story with you to let you know more about

 my life and that not everyone is perfect. I'm obviously not going to be sharing every single thing

 from my past but I did want to give a bit of an insight to let people know me on a more personal level.

Most of you will know that I suffer from Anxiety as I have done a post on this which you can read

here. Since then I think my anxiety has got better and worse. This is because I have since

realised that some things I got anxious over which I thought were normal wasn't. I thought that

my anxiety was only social based however I have since realised that I have severe general

 anxiety.The good thing is that although my anxiety is worse I can manage it easier, through

 the help of counselling/therapy and medication. I'm not saying that everyone with anxiety should

 take medication as it is the only way to help manage it and get rid of because it's not, but

 for me and my situation this is what works best.

My anxiety has stopped me doing things such as going out, meeting friends, going to

school/college and many more. I have to go to a smaller college that has very

few people in it as I can't be around a lot of people or my anxiety gets heightened.

It has also stopped me from going out as I get anxious being around people.

The reason that I am telling you this is because I don't want people to think that 

everyone is perfect and they have the best lives, because in reality nobody does.

In year 9 of high school I really started to isolate myself from the group of friends that

I had. Since then making friends isn't something I've been good at. I only keep in

contact with one person from my high school but since starting college I have made a

few friends. The main reason that I'm sharing this is because I don't want you

to think that it's not ok to have only a few friends, because I would rather have 5 real

friends who I can count on than 100 friends who won't necessarily be there for me.

Over the last few years I've realised just how much time I spent pretending to be something
I'm not. I'd try to act popular and that just so I could be friends with the popular group
of people at school, because I thought they were my friends. I used to go out with them
and they'd be smoking, doing drugs and drinking alcohol and I'd be sat there wondering why
I was with them if I didn't like what they were all doing. It wasn't until year 9 that I
realised I couldn't care less if I was the most unpopular girl in the school with only a
few friends, maybe even none because at least I wasn't trying to be somebody else.

I decided not to share my whole story in one go, and instead I'm going to split it up into
parts to help people understand more rather that little bits of what my story is.

xoxo

Lea-Mai