Being a neuro-divergent mom

Photo: Adie Livingstone Photography

Since becoming a mom I've wanted to do a post talking about how it is to be a neuro-divergent mom, 

but I put it off as I didn't want it to come across like I focusing on the negatives and the labels I've been 

given.  Although I might have several diagnosis' and struggle with many aspects of my life, in no way 

does it mean I'm a bad mom. Instead it means I have advantages and strengths in other areas. 

WHAT DOES NEURO-DIVERGENT MEAN?

The term neuro-divergent describes those whose brain affects them differently than others. It often

 refers to someone who is on the autism spectrum or has a mental health diagnosis. Being someone who

 is neuro-divergent isn't a negative thing. There are many strengths as well as difficulties that come along. 

Being a neuro-divergent parent doesn't affect your ability to parent, the care you give your child or the 

love you have for them. It often affects the unplanned and unavoidable changes.

I could sit and write about how each of my diagnoses challenge me with parenting but I don't if we're 

being honest, that's a very vulnerable position to put myself in especially on the internet for everyone to 

read. I'm an open book and love sharing all sides of me, but at this moment in time, isn't something I'm 

comfortable with and that's ok.

A huge challenge for me that I was expecting is sensory sensitivity. Over the years my sensory issues have 

increased, mainly with sounds and multiple sounds at once. Since becoming mom this has heightened 

more. Experiencing crying at different tones, background noise, other people talking as well as your own 

thoughts becomes so overwhelming. I think it's very normal for parents to experience sensory sensitivity, 

some with touch, noise and even smells. The difference in pitches and tones can become so overwhelming 

and make me feel angry which I hate. I feel angry with myself that it's something I struggle with, when I 

know it's simply my son trying to communicate his needs with me. 

The unavoidable and unplanned changes are something I'm trying to prepare myself for as I know they are 

inevitable in both life and parenting, however this is a challenge I'm yet to face mainly due to his age and 

not being at nursery/school or in extra curriculum experiences. At the moment we have a slight routine in 

regards to rough times, however I'm not super strict as I don't want to force him into things such as 

sleeping and eating when he doesn't want too. I'm in a very fortunate position to be able to cancel plans 

and adjust to my sons needs, whereas I know this won't always be the case. 

For as long as I can remember I have suffered with OCD. Mine is very much cleanliness and orderliness. 

I've surprised myself with how well I've managed at this but I'd be lying I said it didn't affect me slightly. I 

very much know that I will miss the days when toys scattered my floor, but I do still like things to be tidy. 

Once Codey naps or goes to sleep at night, the toys and miniature furniture is the first to be put away and 

my home returns to an 'adult' home and space for me again. 

My longest diagnosis is Aspergers (a form of Autism, now known as ASD), and although this was a huge 

struggle for me growing up my main challenge is now social situations. I struggle to push myself out of 

my comfort zone and tend to be a creature of habit. Having a baby means I can't do this. I can't spend my 

free time at home in my comfort zone and happy place. Whether it's a simple walk around the block, a 

baby class or meeting a friend for a coffee, it's definitely something I need to work on still and am pushing 

myself to do, not only for my son but also for myself! 

Parenting is always a challenge and there are always new obstacles 

to face and I am always going to do the best that I can.

xoxo

Lea-Mai