What they don't tell you postpartum

Codey is now 8 months old and birth trauma and postpartum is still a reality. I shared my birth story, post 

birth and have also spoken about having a preemie baby, but there is still so much that has been missed. 

Although I tried to be as open and raw as possible it's so hard to truly capture every emotion and the true 

reality of birth. So many things are happening when you give birth that everything becomes a blur 

including everything that happens postpartum, which is why so much is missed and not spoken about. 

YOU SHOULDN'T FEEL PRESSURED TO BREASTFEED

I'm not sure if it is because Codey was 8 weeks early, but I felt so much pressure to breastfeed. The 

information I was given was very one sided, strict and routine which now I know isn't the whole story. 

When I was pregnant I was still unsure of whether breastfeeding was for me but after having no support 

and incorrect information from nurses and staff at the hospitals, it wasn't something I could push through 

mentally at the time. Part of me will regret not trying harder and educating myself but, the main focus is 

that Codey is fed, healthy and happy. A breastfeed or formula fed baby isn't best, a fed baby is what's best.

BIRTH TRAUMA DOESN'T ALWAYS MEAN IT WAS PAINFUL

Before giving birth, when I heard about birth trauma I thought people were talking about the physical pain 

they went through and the gory details, this is so far from the truth. I experienced so much trauma and am 

still suffering with the consequences of that, however I didn't experience much physical pain. My birth 

trauma comes from an emergency c-section where I was put to sleep, having my baby taken to a hospital 

over an hour away from me, spending 5 weeks in hospital and so much more. Trauma comes in all 

different forms, from a variety of events which everyone deals with differently over a course of time. 

FIGURING IT ALL OUT WILL HAPPEN

Whether you are a first time mom or a mom for the tenth time, it's a hard journey. It takes time to learn 

your baby's cues, wants and needs as well as what works for you. It's expected for moms to know exactly 

what to do as soon as you give birth but that's a false narrative. Everything is a baby is different and there 

is no step-by-step guide that tells you what to do and what's going to happen. Even if I have another child, 

I will have to learn on the job all over again.

RECOVERY PRESSURE IS REAL

The only silver lining to me having a premature baby is that I had more time than the average mother to 

recover after having a c-section. I would trade all of that in to have had my baby come home straight 

away, but it made me realise furthermore just how much pressure is on mothers to recover and get back to 

normality almost immediately. I can't speak on vaginal births, but a c-section is the only major surgery that 

you are expected to do regular tasks after, walk around and take care of a newborn baby. The recovery 

after birth is a long slow and steady process and isn't something that should be rushed. 

xoxo

Lea-Mai