Struggling with my identity after having a baby

 Adjusting to becoming a mother is the hardest challenged I've faced. Not only do you have a baby to look 
after but you are experiencing a change with your emotions and hormones which can make you question 
yourself. Since I was younger I knew that becoming a mom was what I was meant for, it's what I've 
always wanted and the only thing I've ever been 100% certain off. For a few months I thought that I had 
gotten away with the 'postpartum identity crisis' but it slowly started creeping up on me. 

My life pre-baby wasn't something that I necessarily lost when I had Codey, which is why I didn't think I 
was struggling. My friendships and relationship stayed the same as well as my day-to-day life and even 
my job. Everyone experiences postpartum differently and although I feel like I found a new part of me that 
was missing, I have struggled with this new chapter and holding on to the little freedom and independent 
person I was before becoming a mom. 

I often find that whenI look into the mirror I don't necessarily recognise the person looking back at me. 
My body looks different than before. I don't have time to do self care or makeup like before. I can't be 
spontaneous and just leave the house because I want too. There are so many things I'm grateful for and 
love about this new part of me, but I'm very much grieving who I was before.

I am a very impulsive person and don't always think throughly about a decision before going through with 
it. This hasn't changed since having a baby. I have had and booked in for more tattoos, had a lip filler top 
up and dyed my hair from blonde to copper. Part of this was to feel more like myself and who I used to be 
and take advantage of the hour a week I might get to do something for me. 

The main indicator that I was struggling with my identity after having a baby was loosing my passion for 
blogging. This took a huge hit when I was pregnant but because I felt so ill, miserable and had no energy. 
Mix that in with a traumatic birth and a premature baby, my passion took a back slide. Finding time to 
take photos is also harder now, both with a baby and with the sun going down earlier and earlier. I am 
slowly but surely getting back into blogging and really love sharing my new journey with everyone as 
well as the topics I talked about previously which is still love.

Struggling with my identity in no way means that I don't love being a mom and love my baby any less. 
It doesn't make you any less of a person or any less of a mother. Becoming a mother is just a huge life 
adjustment that we are expected to be professionals at straight away, whilst still growing as an individual. 
I am constantly trying to remind myself that things don't happen overnight and everything is a learning 
curve. Struggling with your identity doesn't make you any less of a person or any less of a mother. 



  1. Yupp! Absolutely felt this! I'm 2 years postpartum now and I'd say it's only in the last maybe 3-4 months I've started to feel like myself and happy with my identity again. That being said, something I do struggle with still is feeling suffocated by motherhood. It's not all the time, just in certain situations. But like you say it doesn't make me any less of a person or any less of a parent for feeling that way. It can all be a bit of a rollercoaster! You're doing brilliantly. X

    1. Thank you. I definitely understand the feeling of feeling suffocated my motherhood. It's an all consuming constant job x

  2. I can imagine it being such a challenge trying to find your identity after becoming a Mum. You're doing amazingly lovely and don't forget that! x

    Lucy Mary

    1. Thank you! I love being a mom and I'm so blessed and grateful to be one, but it's such a challenge, especially personally x

  3. I feel this on every single level. Straight after my son was born I was too busy to look in the mirror. When life settled down I quite liked how I looked, I'd lost the baby weight and had that post-baby glow from breastfeeding and no sleep. Since I went back to work and been more stationary and I feel less happy with how I look. I want to do something about it but you know that time is precious these days!

    1. I don't think I struggle anymore since having a baby with how I look as I struggled a lot before, but all I do and think about is him. I'm so happy my life revolves around him but even when he's gone to bed for the night it's all I do x