Struggling with my identity after having a baby

 Adjusting to becoming a mother is the hardest challenged I've faced. Not only do you have a baby to look 

after but you are experiencing a change with your emotions and hormones which can make you question 

yourself. Since I was younger I knew that becoming a mom was what I was meant for, it's what I've 

always wanted and the only thing I've ever been 100% certain off. For a few months I thought that I had 

gotten away with the 'postpartum identity crisis' but it slowly started creeping up on me. 

My life pre-baby wasn't something that I necessarily lost when I had Codey, which is why I didn't think I 

was struggling. My friendships and relationship stayed the same as well as my day-to-day life and even 

my job. Everyone experiences postpartum differently and although I feel like I found a new part of me that 

was missing, I have struggled with this new chapter and holding on to the little freedom and independent 

person I was before becoming a mom. 

I often find that whenI look into the mirror I don't necessarily recognise the person looking back at me. 

My body looks different than before. I don't have time to do self care or makeup like before. I can't be 

spontaneous and just leave the house because I want too. There are so many things I'm grateful for and 

love about this new part of me, but I'm very much grieving who I was before.

I am a very impulsive person and don't always think throughly about a decision before going through with 

it. This hasn't changed since having a baby. I have had and booked in for more tattoos, had a lip filler top 

up and dyed my hair from blonde to copper. Part of this was to feel more like myself and who I used to be 

and take advantage of the hour a week I might get to do something for me. 

The main indicator that I was struggling with my identity after having a baby was loosing my passion for 

blogging. This took a huge hit when I was pregnant but because I felt so ill, miserable and had no energy. 

Mix that in with a traumatic birth and a premature baby, my passion took a back slide. Finding time to 

take photos is also harder now, both with a baby and with the sun going down earlier and earlier. I am 

slowly but surely getting back into blogging and really love sharing my new journey with everyone as 

well as the topics I talked about previously which is still love.

Struggling with my identity in no way means that I don't love being a mom and love my baby any less. 

It doesn't make you any less of a person or any less of a mother. Becoming a mother is just a huge life 

adjustment that we are expected to be professionals at straight away, whilst still growing as an individual. 

I am constantly trying to remind myself that things don't happen overnight and everything is a learning 

curve. Struggling with your identity doesn't make you any less of a person or any less of a mother. 

xoxo

Lea-Mai