The brutal reality of depression


How long can you say you've gone without brushing your teeth? Hair? Getting out of bed? Putting 
on new clothes? Showering? Eating proper food? Or food at all? For these I can say; weeks, months, 
weeks, weeks, days and months. All of these seem so simple and part of a normal daily routine to 
most people, but so challenge and sometimes unthinkable to those who are depressed. 

At the time depression masks all of this as being ok and being normal, but the reality is 
it's not. Often these will have a ripple affect and become much worse overtime, even 
when the depression is getting better. 

I spent so many years battling routines of not doing the basic things I should be doing. I went weeks 
without brushing my teeth or even thinking about it, I would wear the same clothes if I had to get out 
of bed and I only showered when I washed my hair, which was about once a week. All of this felt so 
normal to me because my depression made me think it was. 

To this day I have checklists to make sure I do everyday things, and have notifications in my 
phone to take my medication that I need to and brush my teeth. I have to get people to help me
 brush my hair because I leave it for so long that it knots in the back and I can't do it myself. 

Although I'm still not in a good or ideal place and hopefully I can get to that place and talk about 
my experiences in the future, not doing anything is still so normal. The people around me are aware 
of situation and how I can get, which is why I'm so thankful that those people notice the signs and 
encourage me to do things that they don't, have to be reminded to do.

I struggled for so long with the idea of people knowing how I used to be and still can be, because it 
seems like you're just being lazy and gross for no reason, but it all feels fine. I know that these are the 
things that everyone does and I have to do, but when you are in such a dark and negative mindset 
getting out of bed is the hardest part of the day or week, never mind doing anything or looking after 
yourself in the basic self-care way. I found it so hard that people had to remind me to brush my hair 
or my teeth, but I've realised I'd rather have people like that in my life, that want to help me, rather 
than those who don't care about how you feel or the needs you should be doing for yourself. 

xoxo
Lea-Mai

12 comments

  1. This is such an important post - thank you for sharing <3

    I spent a lot of my teenage years holed up in my bedroom with the blinds and curtains closed and a big bushy head of hair thanks to my mental health, I think that the more we share and talk about things the better the world can become. Also massive props to you for sharing charities at the end of the post, someone out there will 100% benefit from this! You're amazing! <3

    - Georgia
    http://www.georgiaanne.co.uk

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    1. Thank you! My aim is to talk about the reality and truth behind mental health rather than glorify or belittle it x

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  2. Such a personal and important post! It's hard to talk about something so sensitive! I absolutely know how that feels going through what seems like a tunnel ♥

    Joyce | www.joycelauofficial.com

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  3. I can definitely relate to this post and I think it's amazing you brought up such an important subject! xx

    Maiya | www.maiyabellexo.co.uk

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    1. I'm glad you liked it. If you ever need to talk I'm here x

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  4. This is such a helpful post and I think many suffering with depression too will really relate to you. It's important the subject of depression and anxiety is talked about widely x

    Lauren | www.bylaurenmay.com

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    1. Totally agree! It needs to become more normal x

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  5. Depression is horrific, I've been through a very dark stage of it and I'm so glad to see the back of it. It's so important to talk about it and make mental health less of a taboo topic x

    Gemma Louise

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    1. It's so common for people to experience depression and nobody talks about the reality of it x

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  6. I am sorry to hear that you have been suffering. I personally wonder if I have had bouts of depression in the past, however I have never really gone to a Dr or anything to discuss how I have been feeling. I once was recommended the book "Reasons to Stay Alive by Matt Haig", you may have heard of it. I haven't read it, however have recently purchased it for someone close to me. I hear it is really helpful.

    Look after yourself :)

    Amy x
    The July Rose

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    1. I definitely recommend going to see a doctor, even if you think it's not serious. I've heard of the book but haven't purchased it. I'll be adding it to my wish list to check it out soon x

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