I miss my anxiety?

This photo is not mine

When I got perscribed medication to help control my anxiety, I never thought a day would
come where I would miss my anxiety. But that day has come, as I now oddly miss my anxiety.
I don't miss my anxiety in the sense of the panic attacks and the days where I couldn't leave my
bed. I miss the security and the reason as to why I felt the way I did.

Anxiety is different for everyone. Some it is quite minor and only acts up when in certain situations. For some people it affects day-to-day life and normal activities. Others it is somewhere in between. Unfortunately my anxiety affected my everyday life however I'd got used to how to cope with it and what was best for me. So when my anxiety started to reduce, I didn't know what to do.

When my anxiety started becoming more minor and I became more in control, I almost didn't know what to do. I now didn't know how to act or behave when my anxiety didn't rule me.

At this particular moment in time I'm on 3x the dosage of what I originally started on. I also don't have a lot of emotions. When I say this I mean I don't feel happy or sad or anxious. If anything I feel nothing, sort of like I'm just floating through life. I wouldn't say that not feeling anything is good but I also wouldn't say that it's bad. There are much more worse things that could happen.

So overall when I say I miss my anxiety, it's because it acted almost as a security blanket and also as an explanation to everything. Now there isn't a reason behind everything happening.

Once again I've just read through this post and it doesn't make a lot of
sense, but I hope it makes sense to 1 of you.

xoxo
Lea-Mai

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