Being happy and single

 

There is always pressure surrounding women to be in a relationship, but never men. Thankfully over the 

years the pressure has eased slightly but still not enough. Once women reach a certain age they are 

constantly asked when they're going to settle down and get married and start having children, however at 

the same age, men aren't being asked these questions. It's giving people the impression that women can't 

be happy without the presence and pleasure of another person. The happiness of a person doesn't rest on 

someone else, true happiness is only found within yourself. 

I had my first relationship when I was 17. It was a great relationship but unfortunately it came to an end. 

After 3 1/2 years I found myself starting my 20's and single, just about to go into a national pandemic and 

lockdown. So much was changing, that it kept me from dwelling on the break up itself. I gained so much 

confidence last year and was learning to love myself. Although last year was such a negative time for 

everyone, last year (summer particularly) was an amazing time for me.

When September came around I found myself in a new relationship, and we moved really fast and started 

living together in December. I don't like to speak about this relationship much because it was such a toxic 

and dark time for me, but it's the relationship that made me grow the most. In May we broke up and I had 

to go through it all again. However this time, I was living alone, starting a new job and still in a pandemic. 

To say that relationship wasn't the best is an understatement, and no one will ever understand that. I lost so 

much confidence and didn't know who I was at the end of it. Over the last two months I've started to find 

myself again. I am happy within my self, so much so that I'm coming off my medication, as well as being 

happy on my own without the need for another person. I don't have the pressure to look a certain way, be 

someone who I'm not or act a certain way to please someone else. I can have fun and do what I want. 

Everything I do now, there I only have to think about myself, and I'm in a place in my life where that is 

needed. I have never and will never purposely look for a relationship, because I believe that everything 

happens for a reason and if it's meant to be then it will be. At this time in my life I am so happy being 

single and want to continue to be before I get into another relationship. So much has happened over the 

last 18 months and I've grown tremendously, and I'm happy to say that I'm happily single. 

You've got to learn to love yourself, before someone else can love you. 

xoxo

Lea-Mai