What is BPD?


For years I thought that borderline personality disorder was in some way related to schizophrenia, 
so upon getting my diagnosis a few months back I was a bit freaked out by everything. I soon realised
that they are nothing alike, and the only reason I thought so is because of the lack of knowledge and
information out there about it. We here so much about anxiety, depression and OCD. Occasionally
 we here about other mental illnesses such as; schizophrenia, ptsd, bipolar and more. But rarely 
about bpd. I had to do so much research to find out information about this, yet I was living with it.

Borderline personality disorder is often referred to as EUPD (emotionally-unstable personality
disorder) as people find this to be more accurate. BPD is the intense, erratic and changeable emotions.
Often having the feeling of abandonment, distorted sense of self, inability to regulate and understand
emotions and a detachment from reality. As soon as I did the research I realised I'd been living with
this my whole life yet it has only just been recognised. My family and I believed I had bipolar
because of how my manic my emotions were. Turns out it was lack of knowledge.

"Having BPD is like the emotional version of being a burn victim. Everything in the world hurts
more than it seems to for everyone else and any 'thick skin' you are supposed to have just isn't there"

I've only part 3 of 4 for a mini course/understanding of how to regulate and understand my 
emotions more so when I'm experiencing different things I know, what emotions they are and 
what I have to do in order to feel more of myself. The main focus point throughout all of these 
is that; being sad and down is a normal emotion that everyone goes through, but it's how you 
handle and recognise it that becomes the problem.

I often have days when my BPD is worse and I can't get my head around any idea other than the one
my brain is set on. I benefit from having a routine, like a lot of people, however when that changes
my mood changes too. Last month we got a puppy and I knew it would be hard work, however it's
taken a toll on my mental health as well because of the change of routine and the irregularity in my
emotions, so something that I should be excited about is leading me to feel depressed and ill.

If you are in the same position as me or if you know someone who has BPD then I highly 
recommend checking out mind charity about bpd for all the information and knowledge of 
what it is, causes, symptoms and what to do if you know someone going through it.

Don't go through in silence. Talk to someone and don't be afraid to ask for help.

xoxo
Lea-Mai

9 comments

  1. Thank you for being so open and honest, I bet it was such a shock but a relief to finally get a diagnosis. Fingers crossed you can get some more help now :)

    Kate | http://www.katelovesx.co.uk/

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  2. I haven't heard of this before!But I'm glad you got Diagnois so you can work with it x

    Joyce | www.joycelauofficial.com

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    Replies
    1. Thank you. So many people have never heard of it, but it needs to be talked about more x

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  3. Well done you for being so open and candid! So brave!
    Rosie

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  4. I'd be interested to find out what you have found helps you with this. My partner has this and struggles with it massively.

    I am glad that you managed to get your diagnosis so that at least you have some answers.

    Amy x
    The July Rose

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    Replies
    1. That's something I'm definitely still working on, but I know it's all about the individual person x

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