I'm a Victim of Sexual Abuse

I've been sat here for a while now, trying to figure out an appropriate way to start this post but
I've come to the conclusion that there is no good way to start this. I am a victim of sexual abuse. When talking about any form of abuse it can be a very sensitive subject, which is why I'm not
going to go into detail about what happened or how. Instead I wanted to do this blog post on how
 I've overcome the emotional side affects of my experience.

When I was 3 I was sexually abused by a man 13 years older than me. I told my parents whom contacted the police, but nothing was done about it despite having to go to the hospital for a check up. I talked about it for a week and never mentioned it again. It got bought back up again when I was around 12 or 13 which was very confusing to me, since I forgot and had no idea what happened.

Since this got bought back up the man was found innocent due to lack of evidence. This has been very hard for me to deal with since, I still can't remember what happened only minor details. This
has led to a lot of confusion and questions that not all can be answered. I have also gone to counselling and done EMDR therapy to help with the after affects caused by this. I have gone
through every emotion that I can think of including blaming myself.

The main reason that I wanted to do this post was to say that it might take a long time but it is possible to overcome and that you are not to blame. The worst thing for me was thinking that it was all my fault, despite being only 3. No matter what your age is, if you're drunk or what you are wearing you are not blame. Saying this is so much easier than being able to do it, and I know it is. It might take you a few months to overcome, it might take you years or you might never overcome them. Even if you don't overcome them you will still be better than the day before.

I used to think about this and find questions to ask in my head every single day, but then one
day I didn't. Then it was a week, and next thing I knew it was a few months I'd gone without
thinking about this. Yes I do still struggle with it all, I have bad days when it's all I can think
about but the next day is always better. 

I've just read this back and I have realised that it doesn't make much sense, but the main 

reason behind this is to share a little bit of my experience and to give advice to any one who 

might be going through something similar or the same as me. Very few people know the full story and I wanted to make a point that it is nobody's fault and nobody is to blame.

This was a very hard post for me to write and I hope it
came across how I wanted it to.

xoxo
Lea-Mai