3 months of being a mom

I always knew that being a parent was going to be hard work and I always gave credit to parents, but since 

becoming a parent myself, there isn't enough credit to give. These past 3 months have been the hardest and 

most challenging, but not necessarily for the reasons you may think. It's the most tiring, frustrating, 

challenging yet rewarding, positive and beautiful journey to experience and I'm thankful to be in this 

position and get this opportunity to be a mom. 

MONTH 1 - DAILY HOSPITAL VISITS

Month 1 of being a parent, I didn't even feel like one. Codey was born 8 weeks early and spent 5 weeks 

in hospital. The first month of having a baby, he wasn't even at home. We spent everyday at the hospital, 

listening to what the nurses had to say, longing to come home whilst trying to do 'normal' tasks in a 

hospital. As he was in hospital for 5 weeks there is only so much 'normal' you can have. We did 

everything we could for him, from changing, cleaning, dressing and feeding, but we missed out on 

a lot of the firsts with him being there. I think because this is my first child I didn't go in with any 

expectations which helped as I knew know different for the first month. Yes him being in hospital was hell 

and we hated every second of it, we also knew no different and grew accustom to how things were done.

To read more about this, check out my 'post birth story' here.

MONTH 2 - COMING HOME

Everyone is nervous to bring their baby home as thats when it hits you and it becomes real. For me I was 

terrified. The first night I cried because I was so scared. We were so used to him being under 24/7 watch at 

the hospital so when it came to the night I was terrified to go to sleep. Even now I am yet to have a nap in 

the day, out of fear. We got used to how things were done at the hospital, which when we got home isn't 

straight forward to follow. 

Codey was also tube fed for the first 6 weeks, 5 in hospital and 1 at home. We were fully trained and knew 

how to do everything correctly, but this did add more stress. Everything felt so real when we bought him 

home. This tiny baby, that barely fit in the car seat and looked lost in his next to me cot was suddenly all 

ours to look after. From month 1-2 of Codey's life, his dad was at home a lot, due to paternity leave, bank 

holidays and a family visit, which meant that there was always an extra set of hands around. I loved this 

but it did mean it took a little longer to find a routine and being ok on my own.  

MONTH 3 - FINDING A ROUTINE

This month has been the most challenging so far. Codey has been home nearly 8 weeks and everything has 

started to feel really intense. I am doubting myself with everything that I am and have been doing. Codey 

is currently in a very clingy stage that involves a lot of screaming when he is put down so I can go to the 

toilet or if he needs changing. Although I love that he wants cuddles and to be with me all the time, I'm 

finding it hard to find that balance. It gets a lot easier in the evening when my partner comes home as he is 

there to help, and I have help in the day from my mom also, but it's still a huge struggle to do basic tasks. 

We have slowly been coming into a routine. With an 8-9am get up, 3/4 hourly feeds, bath around 7.30/8 

and in bed and swaddled for the night at 9pm by the latest. I'm very thankful that he does sleep through the 

night at the moment and is only waking up for his feeds, so even though I'm having to wake up throughout 

the night I am getting a little bit of sleep. 

This month Codey has started to become more 'sicky' again, which has made me worry as this was a huge 

issue when he was in hospital and what led to finding out he had a milk intolerance. Speaking with the 

health visitors and doctors, everything is fine and he is continuing to put on weight as he should, but it's 

been hard to not worry and dread when it comes to feeding time. 

Month 3 is where I have started to feel more like a parent. I still don't believe I am a mom and find it 

weird to look in a mirror knowing I am a mom. This month I've started to feel the challenges more and 

more and all the emotions that come along with it. Including taking photos (see the first!) There are so many positives and things to be happy about, it's just easy to get caught up in the self doubt and hard days. 

xoxo

Lea-Mai