Moving on and moving forward

Holding grudges, living in the past and not moving forward is something we're all guilty of in one way or 
another. Whether it's done unintentionally or on purpose it's not a good thing to do, as it prevents us from 
moving on in life. Holding grudges and not moving forward often revolves around relationships, mainly 
romantic, but also friendships and families. Over my life I've experienced more negative events and 
trauma in my life than I even want to admit, but over the last 18 months I've grown so much as a person, 
and realising that I can't hold a grudge and that I need to move forward has been a huge part of that.  

Advice you will be given at least in your life is; 'to forgive and forget'. Every time I have heart that I 
always roll my eyes, because it's not that simple. The person giving you that advice knows that its' not 
going to be an easy journey, but carrying around that weight of anger and holding a grudge against 
someone isn't worth it. This is something I realise more and more as I get older. 

I'm not going to sit here and say that I forgive everyone for all the bad things that have happened to me, 
because I'm human and that's unrealistic. But why should I spend valuable time out of my day, wasting it 
on someone else when they don't care. Moving on and moving forward doesn't mean you have to forgive 
them, but you have to forgive yourself for allowing yourself to be in a negative mindset for so long.

Alongside forgiveness, holding grudges and moving on is second chances. There are 2 things in life I am a 
huge believer in. The first being that 'everything happens for a reason, even if you don't know it yet' and 
the second being 'everyone deserves a second chance'. Nobody is perfect, although some might like to 
think it, and we have and will make mistakes. Some are completely inexcusable but that 1 action doesn't 
always define the person. 

 I have been through a lot of traumatic experiences in my life included sexual abuse and gaslighting as 
well as a lot of mental health issues. In no way do I forgive those people for those actions and what they 
did to me, but I can't hold on to that. I need to move on and focus on the positives in my life and what 
those experiences taught me, rather than hold a grudge and cling to the negativity. As someone who 
suffers with BPD and severe depression it can be hard to do, but admitting what you have to do its the
 first step in the right direction. 

It's not going to be an easy journey and there will be times when it consumes you and that grudge 
against someone will take over, but giving in to it means you've allowed them to get what they 
want by seeing you knocked down. They might've won the battle, but you'll win the war.


  1. Well done you for moving on and moving forward. It's sometimes the scariest thing to do!