My sexuality - why I'm not 'coming out'

When it comes to my sexuality, it's something I've very open about but also something I don't talk
about very often. I have been lucky enough to be bought up with people who wouldn't judge me, as
well as having a mixture of different sexualities in my family. I still find it quite sad that people have
to 'come out' and announce that they are gay or bisexual etc. when we don't do that if we are
heterosexual as it's just presumed. I'm never going to 'come out' I'm just going to be me and I like it.
As it is pride month I wanted to do a blog post talking about this, so that if it helps anyone out there
not feel alone and have strength to be themselves, I'll be happy.

We have become a generation where you can be whatever you want and express yourself in millions
of different ways. No matter people will judge you. It's unfortunate but something that will never
stop. People will always have their opinions, and it's that small percentage of people who go about it
in the wrong way that make others feel invisible and unworthy. It was only in 2002 that it became
legal for same sex couples to adopt in the UK and 2014 that gay marriage became legal. I'm glad that
we live in a world where we can identify as whoever and whatever we want but I'm sad that we live
in a world where it's still not 100% understood and accepted by everyone. 

I'm not going to sit here and say 'I always knew I was different' because I didn't. Especially when it
came to my sexuality. I have family members who are in same sex relationships and have been since
before I was born. It wasn't until I started getting older that I realised some people have opinions
about that and think it's wrong, as to me it's just normal and no different than a heterosexual
relationship. Due to how I grew up I was never scared about expressing my sexuality to my family
or my parents, which I am very thankful for. 

Personally I like labels. They help me understand more about people but especially myself. Whereas
a lot of people don't like to be labelled and put under 1 strict definition. In regards to my sexuality I
would describe myself as pansexual. This means that I don't care about a persons sexuality, gender or
how they identify, I like/love them for who they are as a person. I used to believe that I was bisexual
as I had only heard of this, straight and gay/lesbian. Since educating myself and becoming aware of
different sexualities I have realised there are many different ways that you can identify yourself.

I was always a bit scared and hesitant of what people would say in regards to this because I have
 only ever been with men. But I realised that it doesn't define me. How I feel and how I identify
is down to me. Whether I am only with men for the rest of my life or eventually date women or
 non binary people, it doesn't matter. I love who I love and that's ok.

I am pansexual. But I am also Lea. I am me.



  1. Such a lovely post Lea. Be proud of who you are because I am! X

  2. This is really great! I am too surprised at how many different sexualities that people identify with.

  3. I've often felt the same and found it hard to 'come out' without coming out. I've hoped more and more in the future it won't be something that's needed as we are hopefully no longer viewed through a hertronormative lense.

    1. Totally agree with you. I'm thankful to have a family where I don't need to 'come out' and it makes me sad that people need to in order to feel accepted rather than just living their lives as themselves x

  4. This is so very well written Lea, I have always said that people shouldn’t have to ‘come out’ I just think it’s ridiculous people should be able to just love. I really hope that one day people can just be accepted regardless of sexuality, gender or race. I for sure will raise my children with these morals xxx

    1. Thank you lovely! I've said the same. People aren't expected to 'come out' as heterosexual/straight, it's just assumed, so why should you if you're not x

  5. As a straight woman this is so interesting to read! Deffo agree with people shouldn’t have too come out it should just be accepted to date whoever

    1. Thank you! Hopefully as we continue to educate ourselves we'll be able to stop 'coming out' and just be ourselves x

  6. So brave of you to write this Lea, and I really hope you’re right and there comes a time when it isn’t something you need to come out about. Xxx

    1. Thank you. All we can do is educated ourselves and others and hope for the best future x

  7. This was very interesting to read Lea, it's good to talk about these kind of things :)

    Amy x
    The July Rose

    1. Thank you lovely! I hope it helps people to understand x

  8. So so brave of you to write this! I've never understood why people have such big opinions on sexuality and I don't think I ever will understand it. My auntie has been gay since before I was born, and the things she's been through in life because of it is shocking! xx

    Megan Elizabeth

    1. Thank you! It upsets me that there are millions of people who aren't accepted. I can't explain how thankful I am for my family and being bought up not to judge others x

  9. It was so so brave of you to share this, I really admire you! I am sad that so many people have to suffer because of their sexual preference!

    1. Thank you lovely! Just wish there was more that I could do x

  10. yesssss so with you, can't wait til we're done with having to come out! x